Ghana has made history—becoming the first country in the world to set up an official “prophecy clearance office.” Religious leaders are now required to submit all prophecies to the government for approval before announcing them to their congregations.
So, before you can declare that the President will be overthrown by a coconut falling from a Jubilee House tree, you’ll need to:
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Fill out Form P-666 in triplicate
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Attach two passport photos of the angel who gave you the message
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Submit it to the “Prophecy Verification Desk” for approval—processing time: 3 to 40 days, depending on whether the Holy Spirit uses the Express Service line.
This new rule comes after a recent national tragedy involving top officials and military personnel. The government says it’s to “protect peace and prosperity,” but some Ghanaians believe it’s about making sure God’s messages get edited before release.
Critics are having a field day. One Ghanaian on social media wrote:
“So taxpayers’ money will now pay for reviewing fake prophecies? Just buy them Netflix subscriptions instead.”
Another joked that at this rate, we might as well hand the whole country over to religious leaders, since governance is already halfway outsourced to Heaven’s African desk.
Some see potential benefits—pastors might soon have official prophecy licenses with expiry dates and QR codes. Others worry about corruption, with rumors that “a small facilitation fee” could get even the wildest prophecy approved.
The streets are already buzzing about the first government-approved prophecy, which allegedly involves a white horse, a gas cylinder, and a minister buying wigs in Kantamanto. Whether it makes it through the official red pen is anyone’s guess.
From importing second-hand clothes to importing second-hand visions, Ghana is proving once again—anything is possible.
Jimmy Aglah
Resident Satirist, Republic of Uncommon Sense
source: myjoyonline
