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The Prophecy Clearance House: Now Open for National Business

Daniel Angate — Mon, 11 Aug 2025 08:41:31 +0000

Ghana has made history—becoming the first country in the world to set up an official “prophecy clearance office.” Religious leaders are now required to submit all prophecies to the government for approval before announcing them to their congregations.

So, before you can declare that the President will be overthrown by a coconut falling from a Jubilee House tree, you’ll need to:

Fill out Form P-666 in triplicate
Attach two passport photos of the angel who gave you the message
Submit it to the “Prophecy Verification Desk” for approval—processing time: 3 to 40 days, depending on whether the Holy Spirit uses the Express Service line.

This new rule comes after a recent national tragedy involving top officials and military personnel. The government says it’s to “protect peace and prosperity,” but some Ghanaians believe it’s about making sure God’s messages get edited before release.

Critics are having a field day. One Ghanaian on social media wrote:

“So taxpayers’ money will now pay for reviewing fake prophecies? Just buy them Netflix subscriptions instead.”

Another joked that at this rate, we might as well hand the whole country over to religious leaders, since governance is already halfway outsourced to Heaven’s African desk.

Some see potential benefits—pastors might soon have official prophecy licenses with expiry dates and QR codes. Others worry about corruption, with rumors that “a small facilitation fee” could get even the wildest prophecy approved.

The streets are already buzzing about the first government-approved prophecy, which allegedly involves a white horse, a gas cylinder, and a minister buying wigs in Kantamanto. Whether it makes it through the official red pen is anyone’s guess.

From importing second-hand clothes to importing second-hand visions, Ghana is proving once again—anything is possible.

Jimmy Aglah
Resident Satirist, Republic of Uncommon Sense

source: myjoyonline

Livestream: Emergency press conference expected at Jubilee House over missing Military helicopter

Daniel Angate — Wed, 06 Aug 2025 15:04:38 +0000

A Ghana Air Force Z9 helicopter, carrying eight people, went missing after departing Accra for Obuasi at 09:12 GMT on August 6, 2025, losing radar contact shortly after, per Ghana Armed Forces. An emergency press conference is set at Jubilee House to address the crisis, with search and rescue operations underway. Separately, a helicopter crashed and burned in Adansi Akrofuom, Ashanti Region, with dismembered remains found, though its link to the missing Z9 is unconfirmed, per Adom FM.

Local Assembly Member Matthew Baah, speaking on Adom FM’s Kasiebo Is Tasty, suggested poor weather as a possible cause, noting residents found the wreckage in flames. The Ghana helicopter crash has sparked urgent investigations. Stay updated on this developing story and the search efforts!

source: myjoyonline

Police Deny Raid on NPP Chairman’s Home, Foil Robbery

Daniel Angate — Sun, 03 Aug 2025 02:20:24 +0000

The Ghana Police Service has refuted claims of a raid on the home of the New Patriotic Party (NPP) Bono East Regional Chairman in Techiman, clarifying that officers responded to a robbery on August 1, 2025. The incident, detailed in a statement on their official Facebook page, highlights their ongoing efforts to combat motorbike theft in the region.

On August 1 at 1:20 am, Bono East Regional Police, acting on intelligence, intercepted a robbery gang scaling a wall to escape. One suspect, Seidu Bukari, a known member of a motorbike theft ring, was shot during the operation and later died in hospital. Police recovered a motorbike and robbery tools, but other gang members fled, prompting a manhunt, as reported by JoyNews.

Investigations revealed the targeted house belonged to NPP Bono East Chairman Ibrahim Baba Bukari. The police emphasized that no raid occurred, countering false reports. Seidu Bukari was wanted for similar crimes, including stealing motorbikes for resale in Kumasi, part of a rising trend in motorbike theft across Ghana’s urban areas.

Also Read: Ghana Has No 5G: Sam George Slams Fake Launch Claims

The Inspector-General of Police has deployed a specialized team from the CID Headquarters, Police Professional Standards Bureau, and Police Intelligence Directorate to ensure a transparent investigation into the suspect’s death and officer conduct. This response underscores the police’s commitment to tackling organized crime while addressing public concerns.

As motorbike theft remains a challenge, the Ghana Police Service urges residents to report suspicious activities. Stay updated on the investigation and efforts to enhance security in Techiman!

Source: myjoyonline